Heartfelt thanks

I just want to offer my heartfelt thanks to all my fellow Novel racers who have taken the time to leave a message for us in this very difficult time, and to all our friends who sent cards and offers of support it has all been very much appreciated.

We are still struggling to come to terms with the death of our son and realise that it will take a lot of time. We are trying to get on with our lives, as we must, but it is hard to get through the days.

I have decided to share with you some of my feelings in the hope that putting my thoughts in black and white may help me.

Our son's funeral was in a beautiful village church in Devon, it was full with his family and friends. Grown men cried which showed me how much he was loved and appreciated. He was buried in a little graveyard surrounded by open fields and trees. For someone whose working life had been dedicated to farming this was as perfect as it could be. One day I will find comfort in knowing where he was laid to rest although for now such beauty just makes me cry.

After the funeral we all went to one of his favourite village pubs to celebrate his life. We had written a few words between us about our son which my husband very courageously spoke. This is what he said:

Our son was a decent and honest bloke and didn't deserve to have his young life cut short in this way. He was extremely happy with his lot and together with his wife was living life to the maximum. Even through the hard times in agriculture he managed to keep the dream alive and his new milking contract was going to give them a more secure future.
He worked hard and of course played hard when the opportunity was right. He was as fit as a fiddle which makes the circumstances of his death even more difficult to understand and we feel very angry and hurt by that. Whoever or whatever decides these things gave him a bum script.
At a young age he told us he wanted to go to Brymore[agricultural boarding school] and since then he has followed his dream. He was at his happiest working amongst the farming community in this village, working long hours when needed and caring for your cows as if they were his own, especially Whiskey[his favourite milker].
I can claim to have taught him the indispensable skill of drinking large quantities of beer, we even managed to play rugby in the same 7 a side team. And his Mum taught him the equally important rudiments of skinning and gutting a lamb. What more could a young man expect from his parents. And we were even happier with what he gave us.
However none of us will miss the unmistakeable smell of his very own eau de cologne, a mixture of cow shit and sweat. But when he had had a shower and got dressed up he was a match for anyone, especially on Karaoke night!!!!
Nothing was ever too much trouble for him. If a friend or client had an emergency or a problem he was always the first to help out if he could and we will all be the poorer for the loss of his generosity of spirit, a rare and valued gift.
He died doing what he loved best at the farm he loved best. He will be sorely missed by one and all and that is perhaps the best testament and celebration of life and the affect he had on everyone who knew him.
He will never ever be forgotten.

Just a few words to try and describe a very good person.

Since his death I have been writing my feelings down, just raw emotion really but thats all there is at the moment. These are the words I wrote on the card with the flowers for his coffin:

I have cried a sea of tears for you
But it is not enough.
Your dad feels his grief in other ways
But I can see the hurt in his eyes.
We try to smile for you
But it is so so hard
And we are weary beyond words.

And this is what went in his coffin:

Life is grey without you
Even though the sun is shining
The sparkle has gone out of our lives.
We are weary as we watch the minutes
Drag slowly through the long days.
Life will go on without you
But it is on hold for now.
We are not ready yet to let you go
The pain is too great
We are not ready.
Sleep does not come easily
Images crowd my mind
And will not let me rest.
I am overwhelmed by grief
You should not have died.

Thank-you for sharing this with us. I will hope to resume some blogging soon although I hope you will allow me to continue to share my emotions with you. It helps me to express them in this way.

Devestating news

I shall be away from the blog world for a while as we have had some devestating news. Our son died suddenly from a massive heart attack last Sunday the 20th July. He leaves a wife, two young children and us.

For now I have no words only emptiness and pain. We are getting through each day as best we can but it is very hard

When I am able to I will write about him as he was a wonderful son but for now I cannot bear it.

To anonymous of Tunbridge Wells.

I can't believe thats it's over a month since my last post. Firstly thanks to all who made suggestions for combining my wish list. I particularly liked Lanes idea, lie down and eat more cake, and I think I can avoid spilling any wine. And to anonymous don't think I haven't guessed who you are!! And you are way off with your thoughts on wish no.10 but you are free to keep trying.
Since my last post the weather here has finally taken off and we have been basking in temperatures of 30+ and I have been taking full advantage of it. Although running in this heat will take me a while to get used to, particularly as I always run at midday.[Mad dogs and Englishmen etc] So another excuse for not much writing or blogging. Although this week I have finally managed a few thousand words and shall try for some more today, I must get the recent work typed up so that I can update my word count.
Tonight we are off to Toulouse to watch England take on France at Rugby league which should be good. It's a warm up match before the World Cup in Australia in October. French Rugby League has been coming on in leaps and bounds since the Catalan Dragons joined the Super League three years ago so we are looking forward to a close match.
On the house front we have just about finished the first bedroom with en-suite bathroom and have moved in to it. Now we can start the next room which is also at the top of the house and will be for storage, something we desperately need. We have also agreed with a local builder for the extensions which he will start in September. Before then we have quite a large demolition job to undertake, so thats August taken care of. That will leave July for a bit of R&R, well we mustn't overdo things!!!
And we have eaten the first peaches from the tree we planted back in March, we also planted a Cherry tree but will have to wait til next year for fruit from it. We are lucky in already having Figs, Plums, Almonds and Walnuts all ripening nicely. The down side is knowing what to do with vast quantities of Figs as eating too many is not a good idea!!! Sensible suggestions will be welcome.
And I really will continue my sheep stories very soon, I still have some tales to tell.
So I'm off for a run now, sweat off some of the wine I consumed last night!!!

Combining my Wish List

One or two people, JJ for instance have suggested I could combine some of the items on my Wish List. She suggested wearing high heels while doing a Triathlon!!!!!! Someone else suggested wearing some of the clothes seen at my local market and joining the musicians, with or without high heels. I thought of learning to dance while wearing skis but that might prove very dangerous for a lot of people. I could of course wear high heels whilst visiting Venice but I may not manage much sight-seeing.

Any suggestions will be given serious consideration!!!!!! In the meantime I am desperately trying to get back to my wip, it is proving difficult to get into any sort of routine. There are far too many distractions here, including the odd trip to the local drinking establishments, all in the interest of meeting people of course, plus we just had to see what the local race course is like. Not bad by the way and we had a few winners. And then there is the DIY we have nearly got a new en-suite bathroom [just one or two tiny tiny leaks!!!!] and the bedroom will be ready to move into soon. That just leaves the rest of the house and summer is coming. Oh well mustn't rush these things.

Must be nearly time for a glass of wine then I can give my wip my "full attention". Well maybe not today maybe tomorrow!!!!!!! Me procrastinate no surely not.

Ten things I want to do before the next big 0!

Not an original idea but one that I borrowed from Caroline (of "in search of Adam" fame) read it here who in turn borrowed it from "40 things to do before I'm 40."read it here. So as I have another biggy coming up in three years I thought I would give myself a wish list. I don 't want to be greedy so just 10 things I want to do before the next big one.
Oh and I'm not telling you how old maybe I will when I make it!!!

1 Finish my novel and get it published. This one is maybe too easy but I thought I should include it!!!!!!!
2 Try cross-country skiing. We are only about 1 hour from the Pyrenees so that shouldn't be too difficult to achieve.
3 Visit Venice.
4 Wear high heels again. I seem to have lived in wellies for the past 15 years and it has played havoc with my feet. But I haven't worn wellies for 6 weeks now so it's looking more hopeful.
5 Join a Salsa band. This may be a bit trickier as I have no rhythm and I'm tone deaf but they might let me have a triangle or a tambourine!!!
6 Learn to dance. Proper dancing such as latin american jive etc.
7 See an Ashes tour in Australia or the Cricket World cup somewhere exotic. Now I don't like long flights as I am Claustrophobic but I reckon some tranquilisers such as I gave the dogs should do the trick, in fact I've got a few tablets left so that's okay.
8 Go to the Super League Grand Final between the Leeds Rhinos and anybody else. Obviously I need Leeds to help with this one.
9 Do a Triathlon. Just a short one, I already run, I cycle a bit in the summer and I swim but only breaststroke. But hey I only want to finish I don't expect to win.
10 This one is for my eyes only but I may tell all when I reach the big one!!!!

So there it is my wish list for the next three years. Now all I need is some cooperation from the OH and for me to stop procrastinating and they should all be possible. I will try and put a short list in my sidebar to keep you up to date as to how I am getting on. So wish me luck and if you want leave your wish list.

Sunday Market

As promised here are some photos I took last Sunday. One of the musicians is sporting a fine example of a mullet and the stalls are all in addition to the usual wonderful selection of fresh fruit and veg, flowers, cheeses, charcuterie, wines, hardware goods, more conventional clothes and shoes and much more. It really is a fabulous Market that runs throughout the year although it is obviously much busier in the summer months.

Settling in.

Thanks to all who have welcomed me back to the blogging world, it's good to be back. It hardly seems possible but we have been here over 4 weeks already!! So it really is time to stop my favourite past-time of PROCRASTINATION and start blogging and more importantly writing again. I have been sitting at my laptop for the past hour messing around, deleting e-mails, checking out other websites, you know how it goes, anything to avoid actually doing anything remotely connected with blogging or writing. Anyway I have finally run out of things to distract me so here goes: blog number two in our new house.



A few words about where we came from and where we are now. We had been living in the Poitou-Charentes region of France for the past 18 years, sheepfarming, hence the title of the blog!! Our farm was completely isolated which suited us very well, but eventually we decided that we were ready for a bit more life without having to drive 30/40 minutes. So now we have moved to the Aude departement, we have settled in a large village about 40 minutes south of Carcassonne. What a contrast!!! We are only about an hour from the Pyrenees and the Med and so not far from Spain either. We are looking forward to wine buying trips across the border.

We are within walking distance of 3 BARS plus all the other shops etc, but we are on the edge of the village and manage to have found a really tranquil setting. The house requires a lot of work including a extension to provide a new kitchen, but we enjoy a challenge and have already started on the top bedroom. In the meantime we are fairly cramped compared to what we had before, lots of boxes will not be opened for some time and we have a lot of furniture in store, where it will stay until the extension is ready.

Luckily the village provides ample distractions for when we get fed up with DIY. Every Sunday morning there is a huge Market with people pouring in from miles around. Market stalls selling everything you can imagine plus quite a few selling the unimaginable. The village and surrounding area has a large hippy population which means the Market is very 'colourful'!!!! I have never seen so many mullets, on the young and not so young!!!! I have suggested the OH grows his hair so that he can blend in . We shall also look out our Indian cotton dresses[for me] and shirts[for him] plus anything else from the dressing up box. It does however give me an incredible range of characters that I can draw on for my wip. I always have my notebook handy when we stop for a beer or two, all in the name of research of course. I will take some photos of the more colourful stalls to give an idea what it's like here.

It looks like we are in for a tough life here but hey we'll do our best to cope!!!! More Sheep stories will appear from time to time along with updates on life amongst the Beautiful People.