Monday, 20 July 2009

One long year

A year ago our son died suddenly it was Sunday 20th July. We had spent the morning at our local market, drinking a beer at the cafe and watching the world go by. When we got home we had a phone call that no-one should ever have to take. Our lives changed that day and it has been a long and painful journey for us.

I have found it hard to blog or do much writing but fellow bloggers and Novel Racers have been very supportive for which I thank you. I am hopeful that my writing is getting back on track and that one of these days I will finally finish the first draft of my wip. It has been a long time coming!! I have been writing some short stories and of course some poems. The poems have been my way of grieving, words that have demanded to be written.

I wrote this poem last September.

I was not there

I was not there when death came on silent wings
I was not there to hold your hand or ease the pain
As an icy hand gripped your heart and held it til it was still.
I was not there to say a last goodbye
I was not there as your soul
Slipped it's earthly bonds.
I was not there.

I was not there as they sang "Jerusalem"
And "All things bright and beautiful"
I was not there as my tears fell silently.
I was not there as they lowered your body
Into the dark earth.
My soul had slipped its bonds
And was searching desperately for you
But you were not there.
My body called me back.
But I was not there as the sad procession
Walked slowly away
Leaving us alone.

Now all I have are memories
I must not let them slip
From my grasp
As I let you slip.

I was not there.


Leatherdykeuk said...


DJ Kirkby said...

I am sorry for your loss. My brother was killed unexpectedly 12 years ago. Loss is wrong on so many levels.

ChrisH said...

I'm very sorry that I didn't see this post sooner, Sheepish. You have been so brave coping with your terrible loss. My thoughts go out to you.

Caroline said...

Your loss is so very deep, it falls from your words and touches everyone who reads them. Thinking of you all x

Fia said...

Sheepish, that's a beautiful, moving poem.

Thinking of you.

SpiralSkies said...

Loss is such an all-consuming thing... the words will drift to the surface again when they're ready.

Sending love X

Debs said...

Sorry to be SO late commenting on this.

Your poem brought tears to my eyes and a great lump to my throat. Very moving. x